Total Cartoon Action!
by LordryuTJ
Summary: MY TCA IS UP! READ EPISODES UP! Currently over! YAY Jonsey!
1. Monster Crash

TCA EP1: Monster Crash

Recap:

Chris: Last season on Total Cartoon Island! The final two had a chance to win 100,000 dollars in a final race. Peter won the gold, but TCA was about to begin! Welcome to… Total… Cartoon… Action!!

(A bus comes to the movie lot where TCA is at and the 40 castmates come out of the bus. Chris McLean walks in on-screen)

Chris: Welcome to Total Cartoon Action!

Peter: WOW! This place looks cool!

Chris: Thanks!

Chris Griffin: I've seen this place before! I watched TDA every Saturday and Sunday up to the special! TDM starts in more than 19 weeks

Chris: You'll be here for the next 12 ½ weeks!

Owen: Awesome!

Cleveland: I bet Lorreta is seeing me now!

Chris: Okay, let's start with the 2 teams!

If I call you up, go to the blue side. Peter, Duncan, Owen, Phineas, Ferb, Spongebob, DJ, Candace, Chowder, Geoff, Trent, Jude, Nikki, Jonsey, Homer, Stan, Heather, Cody, Truffles and… Mung! You'll be called… (Throws a backdrop that shows a bear's head to Owen) The Crouching Bears!

Owen: Yeah! I'm a Bear! RAAAHHH!!!

Chris: And the rest of you over here.

Patrick, Bender, Bridgette, Harold, Courtney, Caitlin, Fry, Quagmire, Stewie, Brian, Gwen, Timmy (With Cosmo, Wanda and Poof as helper assistants), Chris Griffin, Cleveland, Joe, Squidward, Turbo Thunder, Jen, Izzy and… Noah! From here on in, your team is called… (Throws a backdrop showing a man punching bricks to Harold) The Superb Stuntmen!

Harold: It's awesome. It's like… amazing!

Stewie: Well, at least I'm not in the team the fat man is in.

Owen: Hey!

Stewie: I meant Peter!

Peter: Hey!

(Rumbling is heard)

Jonsey: What's going on?!

Chris: It's your first challenge! A monster movie challenge! Pick your team cabins! (The cabins are trailers)

Cosmo: Ohhhh.. You mean trailers?

Chris: I meant to say that.

Joe: Alright! (A monster appears and roars. DJ faints and Cody pees his pants, then falls over onto the ground unconscious)

(Later)

DJ: Cody?

Harold: Is he okay?

Heather: I think so.

Trent: Yeah, he's regaining his consciousness! He's waking up!

Cody: What happened? (Sees the same monster and screams. Chris McLean covers his mouth)

Chris: It's a motion capture movie monster, dude! So shut up!

Cody: Thanks! I feel a lot more better now! Thanks, Chris!

Chris: You're welcome, brotha. You have to destroy the monster to win.

Timmy: This should be a snap. (Cosmo turns into a bazooka. Timmy fires it and blast the monster's torso off)

Monster: Daisy… (Its head explodes)

Chris: You're getting there.

(All the other castmates run away screaming as Timmy shoots the torso off)

DJ: Let me out of here!

Squidward: I wanna live! Live!!!

Chris: Screaming a lot helps you get knocked off!

Chris: And the Stuntmen win!

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: (With a tray of awards) These are gilded Chris awards, which mean if you're in or out. Next to you, there's voting machines so you could be able to vote someone off. These awards go to…

Ferb, Phineas, Peter, Duncan, DJ, Candace, Trent, Stan, Homer, Geoff, Chowder, Mung, Truffles, Jude, Nikki, Jonsey, Spongebob and Owen.

Heather and Cody, this is the final gilded Chris award. This award goes to…………..Heather.

Cody: Huh?!

Chris: See ya! You're out! (Cody leaves on the lame-o-sine) So there you have it. Will Owen get lunch? Is Heather getting more nice? See ya next time on Total… Cartoon… Action!


	2. The Mates of the Gilded Caribbean

TCA EP2: The Mates of the Gilded Caribbean

(The campers are doing what they do)

(Candace and Heather are giving themselves pedicures)

(The couples GeoffXBridgette and DuncanXCourtney are making out)

(Owen and Harold are fanning Peter)

Peter: Faster! I want the fans go faster!

Owen: You're hot, (Panting) but I'm hotter...(collapses)

(In the make up confessional)

Harold: (Struggling to hold himself up on the make-up desk) My mad skillz are leeching out of me. I can feel it. My mojo isn't sweat proof. (holds his head and falls over)

Joe: I did not want to be here, but since I am… (Bangs on the desk) …I am gonna win!!

(Cut to the Stuntmen trailer)

(Gwen is sitting next to her bed which is next to the window in the trailer)

Gwen: (Sighs) (Patrick walks in holding a ice cream cone)

Patrick: What is wrong with you? (Eats the ice cream and the cone whole in one bite and then burps)

Gwen: I'm so sad I'm not in the same team as Trent. (An explosion happens near the Stuntmen trailer) What the hell?! (The campers see the cannon and Chris McLean)

Chris: (Dressed as a pirate) Arrgh, mateys! Have we got a game in store for ye!

Duncan: So what's with the eyepatch, parrot and pirate attire?

Chris: Arrgh! (Throws the fake parrot off his shoulder) Shiver me timbers! Good question, me boy! This week's challenge is pirate themed.

Joe: Is pirate theme a real theme?

Chris: (In a normal voice) I was hoping you'd say that, bro! The pirate-themed challenge is to dig for treasure! This has a twist, though. You have to find the treasure, then a key to open it.

Stan: This is getting worse by the minute!

Homer: Yeah!

Cleveland: We have to find both the key and treasure chest?

Chris: There will be 2 groups in a team. Team 1 in the Crouching Bears: Peter, Duncan, Owen, Phineas, Ferb, DJ, Spongebob, Chowder, Candace and Geoff. Team 2: Trent, Jude, Nikki, Jonsey, Homer, Stan, Heather, Truffles and Mung. Team 1 in the Superb Stuntmen: Patrick, Bender, Bridgette, Harold, Courtney, Caitlin, Fry, Quagmire, Stewie and Brian. Team 2: Gwen, Timmy Turner, Chris Griffin, Cleveland, Joe, Squidward, Turbo Thunder, Jen, Izzy and Noah. When you find the key for your team, (In the pirate voice) Meet me at the rendezvous at 5:00 in the afternoon, which right now is 12:30. Now move it, lades!

(Bears Team 2)

Jude: It's been 3 minutes! When are we getting there?! (They see an X)

Stan: The X! X marks the spot! DIG!! (Mung shoves the shovel into the X. A giant boxing glove punches Mung into the special effects pool)

Mung: It was a trick! (Sees a shark fin) Hey! How did Chris get the sharks? AAH!! (Cut to the Stuntmen's second team)

(Noah is looking at a map)

Noah: Okay, the X might be at… (Sees the hole made in the fake X from earlier. Team 1 of the Superb Stuntmen are in the hole) Whoa!

Jen: How did that happen?

Squidward: I don't know. (Bender from Team 1 holds up a treasure chest and a key)

Bender: Found it!

Stewie: Oh, boy! (Trent and Jude grab the chest and the key)

Trent and Jude: Yeah! (They start struggling to get the treasure chest and the key)

Jude: Gimme! (Trent hits Jude in the groin) Ugh! (Trent starts beating up Jude)

(The Stuntmen grab the chest and key and bring it to Chris)

Chris: WOW! I guess the Superb Stuntmen win this challenge! (The stuntmen cheer)

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: (The Bears casted their votes) Alright, let's see what there is to see. (Owen gets hit by a tranquilizing dart)

in the confessional)

Nikki: Looks like Trent is going down.

Owen: (in an emotionless tone due to the tranquilizer's effects) Trent.

Duncan: You messed up, dude.

Candace: You leave us no choice.

Trent: I really feel I made such awesome friends here. It's so hard for me to vote anyone off.

(Back to the ceremony)

Chris: The gilded Chris awards go to…

Phineas,

Ferb,

Owen,

Duncan,

Homer,

Peter,

DJ,

Chowder,

Mung,

Candace,

Jude,

Nikki,

Jonsey

Geoff and… Stan.

Heather, Trent and Truffles, these are the last two gilded Chris awards. The loser is… Trent!

Trent: What?! But I thought I was getting so well with everybody!

Heather: I guess you were wrong. (The Stuntmen are at the ceremony)

Candace: (gasps) You don't even care, do you?!

Heather: Hey, just playing the game.

Trent: Gwen, when we were together, it felt I was gonna marry you. You're cool with that, right.

Gwen: Yes.

Trent: I want you to be tough and fight to the end, for both of us. I'll be watching and cheering for you back home.

(they lean in to kiss, but then Chris butts in)

Chris: Trent, you have an appointment at the Red Carpet of Shame, and a ticket for the Lame-o-sine! Let's go.

Trent: Bye, Gwen. (Goes into the lame-o-sine)

Gwen: Bye. (Sheds a tear)


	3. Just Eliminating

TCI EP3: Just Eliminating

(The castmates are at the campgrounds)

Chris: There is a special challenge today. You teams got to vote off a castmate on your teams!

Owen: That's it?

Chris: Yes! The award ceremonies start tonight at 7:30. See ya 18 at the elimination ceremonies!

(Stuntmen ceremony)

(The team casted the votes)

Chris: You've cast you votes and made a decision. The first award goes to Timmy.

Patrick, Squidward, Jen, Izzy, Noah, Turbo Thunder, Joe, Cleveland, Courtney, Caitlin, Chris, Gwen, Brian, Stewie, Fry, Bender, Bridgette.

Harold and Quagmire, one of your butts are going back home. Harold.

Quagmire: Guess I'm giggety-giggety-giggety-gone! (Leaves on the lame-o-sine)

Chris: Now the Bears.

Peter, Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Owen, Spongebob, Jude, Jonsey, Nikki, Chowder, Phineas, Ferb, Homer, Stan, Truffles, Mung. Candace and Heather don't have awards, so this award goes to Heather. Chef, would you do the honors? (Chef wearing a tuxedo throws Candace into the lame-o-sine, but the lame-o-sine breaks down and Candace tumbles out) I guess Candace is still in the game. That's a wrap for this episode. See ya!HHas


	4. Ocean's ThirtySeven

TCI EP4: Ocean's Thirty-Seven

(The cast is lined up into single file lines)

Chris: This week's challenge is a bank heist and surfing themed challenge!

Owen: Do I know that?

Heather: Duh! It's a challenge, Owen! We _do_ have to know it!

Cleveland: Okay, I'm scared now! (Hides behind Peter)

(Cut to the cast and Chris in a stage that looks like a western bank)

Chris: Your first task is to blow a safe and retrieve the gold, which is fake, and get it to your team's circle to win.

Fry: That's it?

Bender: Did you know you had no lines since TCCCI, Fry?

Fry: So?

Chris: Get with the chase here! So, naturally, it's our first challenge!

(Everyone gasps)

Duncan: (grabbing explosives) Talk about a challenge custom-made for me! I'm all over this.

Harold: (to Duncan) Might I suggest you consult your friendly, neighborhood chem-expert? Because what is an explosion; other than the chemical reaction with trinitrotoluene, decomposing as C7H5N3063N2 + 5H2O + 7CO?

Courtney: In english! Not alien!

(in confessional)

Harold: I have had it with Duncan and his friends! I've been giving my all since day one. Then, Mister "Too cool to care" suddenly wakes up and everyone falls all over him. He might be standing tall after that first challenge but the taller the mohawk, the harder it falls!

(Back to the bank. The bears already got set up)

Harold: If the next part mentions to fight, I'll use these Nun-Yos! (Holds up his Nun-Yos and shows off with them. Duncan throws a twig at Harold and causes Harold's Nun-Yo to hit him in the crotch)

Harold: My nether-regions!

Duncan: Harold just took a Nun-Yo in the "Nun-Yums"!

(Everyone laughs)

Duncan: What a LOSER!

(Harold is doubled over and speaking in a high pitched voice)

Harold: Not funny, Duncan! Ugh!! Anyone… ready? (Breaks free, breathing for air)

Izzy: (bad Spanish accent) ¡Si, si! Explosivo is ready! ¡"Unos", dos, BOOM-BOOM! (ignites bomb, though nothing happens)

Chris: We seem to be having—(Then… BOOM!!!! The safe's door blows off and everyone is covered in slime except the Bears)

Noah: I think you over did it, Izzy.

Izzy: (Grabs the fake gold) Let's go! (The Stuntmen start running until they reach the circle to win the first part of the challenge. They cheer)

Chris: The Stuntmen win the first part of the bank heist challlenge!

(Chris and the blindfolded cast-mates are inside an airplane for the second challenge)

Chris: OK, people, remove your blindfolds. (The cast-mates remove their blindfolds and look puzzled) When it comes to making a war movie, jumping out an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is. (opens the door hatch of the airplane, Chris and the cast-mates intensify their voices because of the wind and turbulence) So, naturally, it's our second challenge!

(everyone gasps)

Joe: Joe god! (Rimshot) Get it?

Chris: No.

Phineas: Okay, this is weird.

Izzy: (to Owen) There's only one way off this big, old, silver bird, and it's through that door! Let's dance!

(Izzy tries to push Owen off, but has no luck)

Izzy: (straining) C'mon, it's not that scary!

Owen: Hello! Crazy girl's pushing me off an airplane, and I haven't had a parachute lesson yet!

Chris: (hanging up his cell phone) That's OK! I just spoke to our research department; there were no parachutes used in Ocean's Eleven!

Heather: So, what do we do for a challenge!?

Chris: Simple! (pushes the parachutes out the airplane door)

Izzy: (runs to the airplane hatch door) Woo-Hoo! Tell my pet rock, "I love himmmmmmmmm"! (voice trails off as she free falls)

Noah: Izzy!

Stewie: She's dead, you know! (Noah looks at Stewie funny) What?!

(In confessional)

Stewie: I don't know what's worse: Free-falling from a _million_ feet or Noah! Such a manipulative pain in my ass!

(Back to the airplane)

Chowder: Parachuuuuute!!!!! (Voice trails off as he free falls)

Mung: (Free falls) Chowder!!!!

Chris: Chef! Can you turn the plane?! (Chef gives a thumbs up and all the cast-mates fall through the door. The cast-mates then realize the free fall was fake and they are on a mattress) Let me put this in a way you'll understand… Oh, yeah! Pathetic, Bears! Thought you were the winners in this challenge! The Stuntmen are the winners! (The Stuntmen cheer)

(Cut to a stall)

(Harold opened the stall and saw Owen sitting on the toilet)

Harold: Ahhhh! Owen, what are you doing?

Owen: It's more about what I'm not doing!

(The final part

Chris: Ever seen one of those 1950's surfer movies, where the kids get up to neato fun before the big bonfire twist-a-thon, and the bully kicks the sand castle in the nerdy guy's face?

(DJ shrugs, Courtney raises an eyebrow, Harold nods, Heather sneezes, Gwen and Timmy give blank stares)

Duncan: Uh, no, grandpa. We haven't.

(Cut to the shooting studio which looks just like in "Beach Blanket Bogus" on TDA)

Chris: (wearing winter clothing) As some of you can see, we're actually in the shooting studio.

Duncan: (freezing) And the AC's cranked because...?

Chris: All the cameras and lights get so hot, they can melt Chef's heart. (Chef smiles and waves) And the network told my agent sweaty isn't a good look for me.

Harold: (in the confessional) I'm very protective of my buttocks. They provide me the low center of gravity that is the key to my many mad skills. You could say they're my hugest asset. Check it! I can juggle my Magic Steve's Magical trading cards! (shows off juggling card from one back pants pocket to the other)

Chris: The team that wins will get tonight's reward. You should be fighting harder than Justin's abs over who gets first shot. Let's start!

Crouching Bears: 16

Peter: Win (But split board)

Duncan: Win (By luck)

Owen: Lose (His weight broke the board and he fell in, water splashing everywhere)

Phineas: Win

Ferb: Win

Spongebob: Win

DJ: Lose (Shark took his trunks)

Candace: Win

Chowder: Win (By luck)

Truffles: Win

Mung: Win

Geoff: Win

Jude: Win

Nikki: Win

Jonsey: Win

Homer: Win

Stan: Win

Heather: Win

Superb Stuntmen: 15

Patrick: Win

Bender: Lose (Chlorine rusted him)

Bridgette: Win

Harold: Win

Courtney: Lose

Caitlin: Win

Fry: Win

Stewie: Lose

Brian: Win

Gwen: Win

Timmy Turner: Win

Chris Griffin: Win

Cleveland: Win

Joe: Quit (Because he can't surf without his wheelchair)

Squidward: Win

Turbo Thunder: Win

Jen: Win

Izzy: Win

Noah: Win

Chris: The Crouching Bears win this challenge!

(Award Ceremony for the Superb Stuntmen)

Chris: I have 18 awards for 18 of you. One of you will leave this movie lot. These awards go to…

Turbo,

Timmy,

Squidward,

Patrick,

Fry,

Bender,

Caitlin,

Bridgette,

Harold,

Courtney,

Cleveland,

Stewie,

Brian,

Chris,

Jen,

Noah and Izzy.

Joe, Gwen. This is the final Gilded Chris award. This award goes to…………Gwen! Joe, the lame-o-sine awaits! (Joe leaves on the lame-o-sine)


	5. On The Buzz of Horror

TCI EP5: On The Buzz of Horror

(The cast-mates are eating some sandwiches except Izzy and Owen)

Owen: Izzy, do you have a BLT?

(Izzy looks annoyed.)

Owen: I'll also take a five.

(Izzy takes Owen's deck of cards and does a card trick with them)

Owen: Oh, come on! I should fart any minute! (Farts)

Harold: (in confessional) Rule Number One: Do not wake Owen's beast within first thing in the morning!

Harold: Owen! We had cowboy beans last night. You're seriously risking a toxic gas leak!

Owen: Is that all I am to you? Some kind of human fart machine?

Duncan: Uh, we just value our lives, is all. Alright, big guy?

Owen: Aw! I love you guys! (Owen hugs the guys) And I promise to never throw a morning fart again. (farts) Starting now. (farts again) I mean, now.

Gwen: (in confessional) Ever since the whole awful Trent thing went down, I've just been waiting for karma to bite me in the butt, but what could I do? He was my weakness, my Achilles heel. We all have one. Luckily, Heather has a whole bunch of useful ones. Glittery objects, new hair products, shameless flattery.

(Back to the stuff)

Duncan: (To Izzy, who has a blank stare on her face) Uh, is Izzy there?

Izzy: Yip! Yip! Yip!

Duncan: Yep, I'd say that's her.

Owen: (To Izzy) If you were food, you'd be dessert! Chocolate covered chocolate with chocolate sauce and sprinkles...(laughs)...chocolate ones!!!

Izzy: (laughs) That is so nice, Owen! You're a banana split with, like, 26 bananas and a whole lotta split! Yeah!

Chris: (On the intercom) Alright, cast-mates, let's get to the fake mountain for today's challenge!

(At the fake mountain)

Duncan: Jeez! Where's Chris?

Jonsey: I guess he's coming up with a new challenge idea. (The cast-mates hear Chris McLean scream. Chris falls off a building and is impaled by a pole. The cast-mates scream. Jonsey touches the impaled corpse of Chris) Hmm, must be weird.

Chris: (It was a trick) Of course not!

Duncan: Aw, man. I was going to take dibs on your lame-o-sine!

Chris: It's cinema magic! The challenge is horror themed! Wanna see how my trick worked?

Cast-Mates: No!

Chris: Okay!

Owen: What's first?

Chris: Think of every great horror movie you've ever seen.

Izzy: (laughs) Ohmigosh, you guys. Did you see that one with the possessed rug that learned to walk and smothered cats? Or did I make that up?

Timmy: (To Patrick) She's awkward. (Patrick nods)

Chris: You need a killer and screamers for the scenes!

(Bears)

Duncan: (Holding the psycho killer mask) Okay, this is my chance to do this challenge. (DJ takes the mask)

DJ: Dude! I should do this challenge again! I've been voted off in each horror themed challenge in TDI and TDA. I do not want this to be stressful!

Duncan: Fine! You can be the killer!

Geoff: Duncan's right!

Jude: Great idea!

Jude, Geoff, DJ, Duncan, Owen and Peter: YEAH!!

(Stuntmen)

Cleveland: This team does look odd.

Timmy: I should be the killer!

Squidward: No, me!

Timmy: I wish Squidward was a lamp! (Squidward is turned into a lamp. Timmy puts on the mask)

(The first challenge: A Make-out horror scene)

Chris: All right, guys. This is the first scene. You're gonna have to act your faces off!

Owen: Oh, boy. I'm not the world's greatest actor.

Izzy: Oooh! How horror movie is this! We have to make out!

Owen: I love this business! Hubba-hubba!

(Owen and Izzy start making out very passionately.)

Chris: Awkward....

Heather: (Gasps after reading script) No, no, no, no! I would rather die!

Duncan: That makes two of us, lady!

(Chris jumps out from behind the couch)

Chris: Don't forget, kiddies! It's a million bucks!

(Chris pops back behind the couch)

(Duncan and Heather both make ugly faces... close their eyes, slowly come together and their lips barely touch for almost 1 second. Their eyes open and they are clearly revolted)

Heather: Ewwwhh! Ugh!! Yuck!!

Duncan: Blech! Yuck! Ughh!!

Heather: You taste like street!

(DJ pops up from behind the couch and makes a really wimpy growl. Heather and Duncan do not even notice him.)

Heather: My lips may never recover!

(Izzy and Owen are making out on the couch when Timmy, dressed as the serial killer, appears from behind)

Timmy: (Growls) I'm gonna chop you into little teriyaki bits! (Izzy and Owen are still making out, oblivious to his presence) Ummm... guys?

Owen: (Along with Izzy, realizes they're in the middle of a horror scene) Hmmm? Oh!

(Izzy and Owen give out a very unenthusiastically weak scream that rates very low on the Scream-o-meter before resuming their makeout session)

(Chef walks to Duncan, DJ and Heather and roars with a chainsaw over his head, making Duncan, DJ and Heather scream that rates extremely high on the Scream-o-meter. DJ faints)

Chris: And the Bears win the first part of the challenge!

(The second scene: Forest Horror Scene)

(Harold and Geoff participate in this part)

(DJ roars as he's behind Geoff)

Geoff: AAH! (It rates low on the Scream-o-meter)

(Timmy does the same to Harold, but the Scream-o-meter rates it very high)

Chris: The Stuntmen win the second part of the horror movie themed challenge!

(Third part: Port-a-potty horror murder)

(Heather (Again) and Cleveland participate in this part of the challenge)

Heather: I don't know how DJ will put up with this part of the challenge. I think he might do great.

Cleveland: I think Timmy is great as a killer even though he's not a teen or even young to be a actor. (Timmy bursts in and roars) AAAAAHHHH—!!

(DJ bursts into the stall Heather is in)

DJ: Oh, sorry, I came in too early.

Heather: You want to win? Do the scene, DJ! (Turns around and shows her butt at DJ) Start right here. (DJ pukes. Then he stabs Heather with the knife through her butt a lot, blood splatters as Heather screams very loud that it rates the scream very high)

Chris: (Walking near the stall) Wow! Let's see what's going on in here. (Looks in) AAAAAHHH!!!!! The violence there is real! (Pukes)

(in the confessional)

Chris: OKAY! That was so gross! (throws up) Is there nothing these freaks won't do?!

(Cut to the rest of the scene for the stalls)

(DJ is done stabbing Heather)

DJ: (Pukes a lot) Am I a pervert?! (Heather shakes her head and falls over)

Chris: DJ wins invincibility for the Bears! And please call a doctor because some girl's anus is stabbed a lot!

(Stuntmen's Award Ceremony)

Chris: Let's see how the cast-mates are going to get their awards. The first goes to Fry, Bender, Caitlin, Timmy, Turbo, Jen, Noah, Courtney, Harold, Bridgette, Squidward, Izzy, Stewie, Brian, Gwen and Chris Griffin.

Izzy, Cleveland and Patrick, This is the final Gilded Chris Award. It goes to Izzy!

Cleveland: Aw, man! Come on, Patrick, we're going home!

Patrick: It's okay, I'll take you there. (They both leave on the Lame-O-Sine after walking the Red Carpet of Shame)

Chris: See ya next time on Total Cartoon Action!!


	6. Sex Or Not

TCA EP6: Sex Or Not

(Recap)

Chris: Last time on Total Cartoon Action! The teams had to settle with a horror movie challenge. DJ's act in the stall challenge almost murdered one of his teammates, Heather. In the end, Cleveland and Patrick left the movie lot and their friends. Watch this next episode of Total… Cartoon… Action!

(Theme song plays)

(It then shows parts of the movie lot)

(Then it shows the Bears doing stuff and so)

Noah: At least this didn't get worse.

Izzy: He kissed a guy.

Noah: No I didn't!

Izzy: Yes, you did!

Noah: Didn't!

Izzy: Diiid!

Noah: Did. Not!

Izzy: (says 'did' many times in singing tune)

Jonsey: Ahem, uh, I can break this tie. (points to Noah) You totally did.

(flashbacks to when Noah kissed Cody's ear in The Big Sleep)

Noah: ... I have no comment. Besides, Cody is long gone!

Courtney: I was in the middle of filing a lawsuit for wrongful termination of competition. I was unfairly kicked off in TDI!

DJ: I know about it, bra.

Noah: Must have missed that episode… Again!

Courtney: (scoffs) You all know what happened!

Geoff: Yeah, give her a break already. I mean, I got kicked off in the—(Courtney hits him with a lamp post)

Caitlin: You just would've gotten kicked off in a earlier episode. Nobody liked you that much.

Nikki: Caitlin! Quit—(Snow falls on her. Then a sled lands on the mound of snow and then an Eskimo lands on the sled) Ow!

Caitlin: Okay, that breaks a lot of fourth walls!

Courtney: We're in Muskoka, people. If you're going to drop props on her head, at least make them geographically correct! (POOF! Chris McLean appears in a puff of smoke)

Chris: Ha-ha! Ready for the next challenge? The theme is about sex.

Everyone: NO!

Izzy: Okay! C'mon, guys! No one listen!

Chris: C'mon! It'll be fun or you'll all be voted off at one!

(The sex challenge)

Chris: This is a single challenge. The team with the most perverting done wins the challenge.

Duncan: WOW!! That's it?!

Chris: Yeah. (Courtney spots a penny and bends over to get it. Duncan spanks her butt hard that her butt jiggles)

Courtney: (Holding her butt) OW!

Duncan: Me likey!

Chris: Like that. Score for the Bears! (Bears: 1. Stuntmen: 0) Good luck! (Another puff of smoke appears and Chris McLean disappears in the smoke)

Courtney: (To Duncan) Never do—(Duncan shuts her up)

Duncan: Princess, the challenge is about _sexy_ stuff! That's why I hit you in the booty.

Courtney: (In love) I _do_ see where this is going. (Giggles)

Duncan: Well, alright then. (They kiss) (Duncan reaches for Courtney's breasts)

Courtney: (Walking away) I'll be right back! (Geoff walks over to Duncan)

Duncan: She wants me.

Geoff: No doubt. (They knuckle touch)

Both: Knuckle Touch! (Duncan walks into the Stuntmen cabin where Courtney is at. Duncan spanks her again)

Courtney: (Giggles) Oh, you're here. (Bears: 2)

Duncan: So, you ready?

Courtney: Ready for what? (Duncan points at Courtney's breasts) Oh. Yes. (Duncan squeezes on Courtney's breasts) (Bears: 5 and Stuntmen: 2 (Duncan squeezed Courtney's breast twice hard) (Duncan and Courtney see Geoff and Bridgette making out. Bears: 6 and Stuntmen: 4)

Duncan: I guess my team's still winning. Let's rape all the way!

(Later)

(Bears: 78 and Stuntmen: 70)

Chris: And the Crouching Bears are the winners of this challenge!

(Award ceremony)

(The final award goes to either Turbo or Chris Griffin)

Chris: And this Gilded Chris goes to… Turbo Thunder! (Chris Griffin cries as he runs to the Lame-o-sine)

(End)


	7. Guitar Zero

TCA EP7: Guitar Zero

(The cast-mates are at a arcade tent Chris McLean made)

Chris: This challenge is to play Guitar Hero III's Through the Fire and Flames!

Homer: That should be a snap.

Chris: …On Expert.

Owen: Oh, crap!

Phineas: Crap! We're doomed! Wish Cody was here!

Chris: Phineas and Fry, get up here and play for your team-mates!

Fry: Awesome!

Phineas: Damn!

(Then the two played the song)

Lyrics:

On a cold winter morning in a time before the light

In flames of death's eternal reign we ride towards the fight (Duncan: I love this show!)

When the darkness has fallen down and the times are tough alright

The sound of evil laughter falls around the world tonight (Jonsey: Whoa!)

Fighting hard fighting on for the steel through the wastelands evermore

The scattered souls will feel the hell bodies wasted on the shores

On the blackest plains in hell's domain we watch them as they go

In fire and pain now once again we know

So now we fly ever free, we're free before the thunderstorm

On towards the wilderness our quest carries on

Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight

Deep inside our hearts and all our souls (Gwen and Jen: WOW!)

So far away we wait for the day (Caitlin: GO FRY!)

For the lives all so wasted and gone (DJ: You da man, Phineas! Ferb: How impossible.)

We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days (Harold: I should've been him!)

Through the fire and the flames we carry on

As the red day is dawning and the lightning cracks the sky

They'll raise their hands to the heavens above with resentment to their lies1

Running back through the mid morning light there's a burning in my heart2

We're banished from a time in a fallen land to a life beyond the stars

In your darkest dreams see to believe our destiny this time

And endlessly we'll all be free tonight

And on the wings of a dream so far beyond reality

All alone in desperation now the time has come

Lost inside you'll never find, lost within my own mind

Day after day this misery must go on

So far away we wait for the day

For the lives all so wasted and gone

We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days

Through the fire and the flames we carry on

Now here we stand with their blood on our hands

We fought so hard now can we understand

I'll break the seal of this curse if I possibly can

For freedom of every man

So far away we wait for the day

For the lives all so wasted and gone

We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days

Through the fire and the flames we carry on (Everybody cheered)

Chris: And it's… (Looks at the scoreboard) a tie?

Fry: Wait! (Grabs a card with a gilded Chris award picture in the card from the TV monitor) A invincibility card!

(Award Ceremony)

(The final Gilded Chris goes to either Phineas or Jude)

Chris: This award goes to a person who wants to stay. The one who loses walks the Walk of Shame to the Lame-o-Sine and leaves for the rest of the competition. The one and final expensive Gilded Chris Award goes to…………………………………………………………………Jude. (Phineas walks the Walk of Shame to the Lame-o-sine)

Jude: Yeah! (Everyone says bye to Phineas)

Ferb: (Stops Phineas from going into the lame-o-sine) See ya, brother.

Phineas: Bye. (Goes into the Lame-o-Sine and leaves forever. Ferb sheds a tear)


	8. The Aftermath: I

TCA EP8: TCA Aftermath I

(The studio is shown with Cody and Trent as the hosts)

Cody: Hello, viewers!

Trent: This is the first ever Total Cartoon Action Aftermath!! We are so psyched to be here!

Cody: Yeah! We were the first people voted off Total Cartoon Action, as you might know.

Trent: Let's get our first guest out, Joe! (Joe wheels into the room)

Joe: Yeah!

Trent: So Joe, how was it being on Total Cartoon Action before your elimination?

Joe: Not that bad. I got to see my friends again before Quagmire got eliminated, then me. Then Cleveland and Patrick.

Trent: Then let's see Cleveland, Quagmire and Patrick then!

Cody: Come on out, guys! (Cleveland, Glenn and Patrick enter the stage)

Patrick: Hey!

Cleveland: Howdy y'all! Sock it to me!

Quagmire: Don't show off!

Cleveland: Sorry.

Trent: So guys, how was it being on Total Cartoon Action before your eliminations?

Quagmire: Awesome! That guy Jude was a great skater! And Heather looked like I wanted to have sex with her!

Trent: Then let's see the clip that Heather's cheating on you!

(Clip)

_(DJ bursts into the stall Heather is in)_

_DJ: Oh, sorry, I came in too early._

_Heather: You want to win? Do the scene, DJ! (Turns around and shows her butt at DJ) Start right here. (DJ pukes. Then he stabs Heather with the knife through her butt a lot, blood splatters as Heather screams very loud that it rates the scream very high)_

_Chris: (Walking near the stall) Wow! Let's see what's going on in here. (Looks in) AAAAAHHH!!!!! The violence there is real! (Pukes)_

_(in the confessional)_

_Chris: OKAY! That was so gross! (throws up) Is there nothing these freaks won't do?!_

(End of clip)

Quagmire: That was horrifying! And like a rape-go-round! Is Heather gonna be okay?

Trent: She's fine. Last night, she was sent to the hospital for 50 minutes so her butt will be fine.

Quagmire: Oh, thank god!

Patrick: I agree! The clip looked like it came from a _real_ horror movie!

Cody: And it's my opinion that we're outta time anyways. See us next time…

Joe: If they don't get fired…

Trent: And tune in next time on Total…………… Cartoon…………… Action!! Us out!

(End)


	9. 3:10 to the Westerns

TCI EP9: 3:10 to the Westerns

(The cast-mates are in a wasteland on the TCA movie lot)

Chris is dressed as a Cowboy and talking in stereotypical Cowboy fashion)

Chris: Since there's no beatin' the heat, we're goin' west this week! There's a town meetin' at high noon. Be there, or I'll drive ya deadbeats outta town!

Caitlin: Ooh! If you're driving us out of town, can we go to the mall?

(in the confessional)

Harold: I spent three summers at Medieval Steve's Medieval Camp. We learned to joust, ride horses, and how to look manly in tights. It's harder than it looks.

(Back to the action)

Chris: Stuntmen, you're first up for the diving board part.

Gwen: We won last week. Why do we have to go first?

Chris: Because I said so. And I'm your host. (poses in front of camera) Chris McLean.

Jonsey: (sighs) It's not like things can get any worse.

(falls off of platform and lands with his legs wide open on the pole of a fence) (in a strained voice) Or maybe they can...

Chris: EEK! Glad that wasn't me!

DJ: (Was about to jump of the diving platform) Whoa! (The wind pushes him away to the electric wires) Not the electric wires! (gets shocked) Owwww!

Chris: (sitting in a news-broadcasting type studio, holding a paper, and obviously reading a teleprompter) We here at Total Drama Action, care about the health, and welfare, of our competitors. Furthermore, no people were hurt in the making of this show! (All the cast-mates then did it) The hallmark of any good western is the quick draw cowboy showdown! Captains will pick their strongest cowfolk to compete in what will likely be... a fight to the death! Ha-ha! (cell phone rings, answers it) Y'ello! ... Uh-huh... I see... Fine... (hangs up) Our lawyers have informed me that it's canceled! So the Gaffers win again!

(in the confessional)

Duncan: You wanna know why I pick on Harold? Here's a hint: Payback's a bi- (camera cut)

(Awards ceremony)

Chris: These Gilded Chris Awards go to

Ferb,

Owen,

Duncan,

Geoff,

Nikki,

Jude,

Jonsey,

Mung,

Chowder,

Truffles,

Spongebob,

Homer,

Stan,

Candace,

Heather.

Peter, DJ, this is the final Gilded Chris Award. This goes to…Peter. (DJ walks down the Walk of Shame to the lame-o-sine)

(In the confessional)

DJ: Definition of lousy: being a stickler for your word and having to vote yourself off. (looks and points upwards) Whoever's in charge of karma, I hope that counts for something!

(End)

(Credits)


	10. Dare On The Set

TCA EP10: Dare On The Set

(The cast-mates are doing random stuff)

Duncan: (Sighs) Nothing like sexy stuff might make me happy. (Heather walks over to Duncan)

Heather: Oh, yeah? Would you like an (Shows her ass) ass with that?

Duncan: Will you say "Mama-lishous" when you do it?

Heather: Yes. (Rubbing her ass in Duncan's face) Mama-lishous! Mama-lishous! Mama-lishous! Mama-lishous!

Duncan: Ohh! Oh! Oof! Agh! Oooh. Wow! Enough! (Heather stops)

(Chris walks in)

Chris: Hey cast-mates! Ready for the challenge?

All: Yes.

(The challenge)

Chris: The challenge is "Dare On The Set"! A cast-mate must dare another cast-mate to do something weird, gross, sexy or funny! Courtney, you're first.

Courtney: Okay, Heather, I dare you to get your butt spanked by Duncan 50 times, hard!

Heather: (Gasps) (Cut to Duncan spanking Heather's butt 50 times)

Chris: Heather did the dare! Stan, you're up.

Stan: Okay. Homer, I dare you to lick Owen's armpit.

Homer: Eew! (Owen shows his armpit)

Owen: You could imagine you're licking an ice cream cone! Minus the BO. (Homer licks it) Oh, and the pit hair. (Homer barfs)

Heather: I'm just picturing Marge watching this, and something tells me that she won't be eager to lock lips with you any time soon. (To Homer) At this rate, Marge's going to need a fumigation squad just to... (Homer barfs in her face)

(In confessional)

Chris: (Gags) So freakin' sick. Chef's going down!

(Back to the challenge)

Gwen: If you help me take down Heather, I'll share my award with you.

Owen: What if you don't win?

Gwen: I'll... swing for a box of donuts.

Owen: The lady drives a hard bargain. Deal!

Chris: Gwen, you're up.

Gwen: Okay. Eeny, Meeny, Miney,... Heather! Drink a blended purée of Chef's mystery meat.

Heather: WHAT?

(Gwen high fives Owen)

Gwen: I rule!

Chris: Ooooh! You're not going to like this one! (Heather drinks it and then barfs) Turbo Thunder, you're up.

Turbo: Okay. Hm…… Owen! Eat a toilet seat!

(Then…)

(In the stall)

Owen: (bites toilet seat) I should probably spit this out right now. (falls asleep)

(The rest of the cast looks at the stall)

Chris: Is he okay?

Owen: (still asleep)

Heather: What is this, grade 5? Why don't we just do 7 Minutes of Heaven in a skanky-like basement closet?

Chris: Peter, you're up.

Peter: Bender, I dare you to drink 50 gallons of beer! (Bender does it in under 10 minutes)

Chris: And Bender does it.

The next dares:

Duncan: Kiss Courtney on the ass. (Fry did it)

Truffles: Eat Flibber Flabber. (Chowder overdid it)

Spongebob: Eat Owen's toe jam. (Harold did it)

Fry: Drink ipecac. (Timmy did it)

Owen: Eat 60 pounds of cheese. (Squidward did it)

Mung: Eat a Frosty Apple Crumple Thumpkin. (Chowder did it)

Duncan: Play 7 Minutes of Heaven. (Courtney and Heather did it. GAY!)

Timmy: Get your head shaved. (Ferb didn't do it and survived the shaver)

Chris: The Superb Stuntmen win "Dare On The Set"! (The Stuntmen cheer)

Turbo: We win!

Courtney: (To Heather) We're still gay, right?

Heather: Yes.

(Award Ceremony)

(The Final Gilded Chris Award will go to Chowder or Ferb)

Chris: And this final Gilded Chris Award goes to……………Chowder! (Throws the award to Chowder)

Chowder: YAY!!

Ferb: Goodbye, friends! I will miss you guys! (Leaves on the Lame-O-Sine)

(End)

**I don't own the people I used as cast-mates. I do own TCI and TCA.**


	11. Trap Happy Cast Mates

TCA EP11: Trap Happy Cast-Mates

(The cast-mates are at the Walk of Shame)

Chris: This week's challenge is a classic game of Capture the Flag. The team that bring the flag to their base wins invincibility for the team.

(In the Confessional)

Duncan: Finally, a challenge I can get behind. The point is, this is something I know.

Peter: Capture the flag is not that bad.

Turbo: What kind of kid plays capture the flag?

(Back to the show)

Chris: The red base is the mess hall, the blue base is the make up cam.

Duncan: That didn't make any sense, what's the long version?

Timmy: That was the long version. The short version is "we're boned."

Turbo: (pulling out a rocket launcher) Guys, there's only one thing I can do.

Timmy: Hehey, what the hell?

Chris: There's only twenty seconds left!

Turbo: If I blow you up, there's a chance we'll still win.

Timmy: But the rocket'll kill me.

Chris: And start! (The cast-mates run)

Turbo: Never mind.

(Cut to the Bears' flag. Turbo Thunder gets near it and gets caught in a rope trap)

Turbo: Whoa! (Timmy grabs it)

(The Stuntmen's flag. Duncan gets it and returns to the base, the mess hall)

Duncan: What do you think of that?

Chris: The Crouching Bears win the capture the flag challenge!

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: These gilded Chris awards go to Bridgette.

Bridgette: Yeah!

Chris: Gwen! (Gwen: Whoo!) Harold, Courtney, Timmy, Bender, Fry, Brian, Stewie, Caitlin, Noah, Jen and Izzy!

Turbo: What?!

Squidward: You kidding?! (The two get thrown into the Lame-O-Sine and leave forever)

(End)


	12. War Or Not

TCA EP12: War Or Not

Chris: (walking around the cast-mates) Today, we're all about war movies. So, look lively, you...

Chef: (interrupts and finishes Chris's sentence) Buckets of horse doo-doo!

Chris: So, get ready for the first death-defying challenge, you...

Chef: (interrupts again) Disgusting, slimy crustaceans!

Chris: Move it, privates! Fall in!

Everyone: Sir, Yes sir!

(in confessional)

Duncan: I've always wanted to be a marine! They're rough, tough, they wear rad boots and say "Hoo-hah"! No clue what that means but it sounds so cool. Hoo-HAH!

Homer: I was once in the military. They kicked me out for having sex.

(Chris and the blindfolded cast-mates are inside an airplane for the first challenge)

Chris: OK, people, remove your blindfolds. (cast-mates remove their blindfolds and look puzzled) When it comes to making a war movie, jumping out an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is. (opens the door hatch of the airplane, Chris and the cast-mates intensify their voices because of the wind and turbulence) So, naturally, it's our first challenge!

(everyone gasps)

Jonsey: Uh...Anywhoo, It's a long way from the airplane to the ground below...!

Noah: Three kilometers to be exact!?

Jonsey: Wouldn't know, math is for ugly people.

Izzy: (to Owen) There's only one way off this big, old, silver bird, and it's through that door! Let's dance!

(Izzy tries to push Owen off, but has no luck)

Izzy: (straining) C'mon, it's not that scary!

Owen: Hello! Crazy girl's pushing me off an airplane, and I haven't had a parachute lesson yet!

Chris: (hanging up his cell phone) That's OK! I just spoke to our research department; there were no parachutes in World War I!

Heather: So, what do we do for a challenge!?

Chris: Simple! (pushes the parachutes out the airplane door)

Izzy: (runs to the airplane hatch door) Woo-Hoo! Tell my pet rock, "I love himmmmmmmmm"! (voice trails off as she free falls)

Owen: (Jumps out chasing a steak) WHHHOOAAA!!! (The weight causes the rest to fall out)

All: AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!! (The cast-mates land on a pillow)

Harold: I think I wet my pants!

(The second part)

Chris: We wanted to redo a TDA challenge so the next part involves explosives!

(The teams then set the explosives up)

(Stuntmen)

Izzy: I'm ready! One, two, BOOM-BOOM! (ignites bomb, though nothing happens. Seconds later, paint explodes on everyone and smashes the shelter)

Chris: Explosive: Yes. Creative and controlled: Not so much! The Bears win the second part and win the trunk of mind-blowing secrets!

(The final part)

Chris: We had an idea to use this! (Chef shows a tool shed) I think it's a tool shed. (The tool shed breaks) _Was_ a tool shed. The winners of capture the flag win the truth of what's in the trunk of mind-blowing secrets!

Duncan: I'm going to set some booby traps.

(in confessional)

Harold: (giggling) He said "Booby"!

(Then the Bears come at the trunk but Harold KO's them with his Nun-Yos)

Chris: WOW! I guess the Superb Stuntmen win the truth of what's in the trunk of mind-blowing secrets!

(Duncan and Harold discover that the trunk of mind-blowing secrets is filled with garbage)

Duncan: All this sadness!

Harold: All these tears!

Duncan: Dude, no tears! That was just our eyes watering off of Owen's butt blasts!

Harold: Still, all this hatred! For what?

Duncan: An trunk of old junk!

Harold: The madness of war!

(Duncan and Harold shout in agonizing defeat)

Duncan and Harold: WHHHHHHHHY!?

(Award Ceremony)

(The final award goes to Duncan or Homer)

Chris: This is the final Gilded Chris award. The one who loses it leaves on the Lame-O-Sine and leaves the movie lot… and he can never _ever_ come back! EVAH! This last and not least Gilded Chris Award goes to…………………………………………………………………………Duncan!

Duncan: Yeah!

Homer: No! WHHHHHHHHY!? (Chef throws him into the Lame-O-Sine) Ow! (He leaves forever)


	13. Soul Call It Burr

TCA EP13: Soul Call-it-burr

Chris: Today's challenge is Soul Calibur themed.

Harold: Awesome!

Noah: Is that theme a real theme?

Chris: Yes.

(In Confessional)

Duncan: Wow! A custom made challenge for me! I think I have a good shot at winning this show. Time to take revenge on Peter, Soul Calibur style! Hoo-wah!

(At the arcade tent)

Chris: Here's how it's going to work. I'll call up a cast-mate from each team to play a match of Soul Calibur IV!

Harold: Isn't that the latest Soul Calibur?!

Chris: No stupid questions! Harold and Duncan, get up here! Select your fighter!

Harold: Maxi (Normal Weapon, Nunchaku)

Duncan: Siegfried (Soul Calibur, legendary weapon)

(After 7 minutes of hell……)

Chris: Harold and the Superb Stuntmen win the challenge! (The Superb Stuntmen cheer in victory, glee, happiness and excitement as Harold won the match)

Duncan: So unfair!

Chris: It's Walk of Shame time for a special person!

(Award Ceremony)

(The final award will go to either Duncan or Truffles)

Chris: This goes to……………

Bender: Wait! I know what I should do. I'm voting myself off! Bye! (Leaves on the Lame-O-Sine)

(End)


	14. The Aftermath: II

TCA EP14: The Aftermath: II

(The stage appears with Cody and Trent still as the hosts)

Cody and Trent: Hey!!

Trent: Welcome to the second TCA Aftermath!

Cody: How great is this?!

Trent: Very. Let's get out our guests, Squidward and Phineas! (Said losers come out happy and psyched to hug the hosts) Hey! So guys, was Total Cartoon Action one of your best times?

Phineas: Yes.

Squidward: It was a bitch.

Trent: Uh, okay then. Let's see a clip.

(Clip 1)

_Chris: Your first task is to blow a safe and retrieve the gold, which is fake, and get it to your team's circle to win._

_Fry: That's it?_

_Bender: Did you know you had no lines since TCCCI, Fry?_

_Fry: So?_

_Chris: Get with the chase here! So, naturally, it's our first challenge!_

_(Everyone gasps)_

_Duncan: (grabbing explosives) Talk about a challenge custom-made for me! I'm all over this._

_Harold: (to Duncan) Might I suggest you consult your friendly, neighborhood chem-expert? Because what is an explosion; other than the chemical reaction with trinitrotoluene, decomposing as C7H5N3063N2 + 5H2O + 7CO?_

_Courtney: In english! Not alien!_

(Clip 2)

_Duncan: (Sighs) Nothing like sexy stuff might make me happy. (Heather walks over to Duncan)_

_Heather: Oh, yeah? Would you like an (Shows her ass) ass with that?_

_Duncan: Will you say "Mama-lishous" when you do it?_

_Heather: Yes. (Rubbing her ass in Duncan's face) Mama-lishous! Mama-lishous! Mama-lishous! Mama-lishous!_

_Duncan: Ohh! Oh! Oof! Agh! Oooh. Wow! Enough! (Heather stops)_

_(Chris walks in)_

_Chris: Hey cast-mates! Ready for the challenge?_

_All: Yes._

(Clip 3)

_Owen: Izzy, do you have a BLT?_

_(Izzy looks annoyed.)_

_Owen: I'll also take a five._

_(Izzy takes Owen's deck of cards and does a card trick with them)_

_Owen: Oh, come on! I should fart any minute! (Farts)_

_Harold: (in confessional) Rule Number One: Do not wake Owen's beast within first thing in the morning!_

_Harold: Owen! We had cowboy beans last night. You're seriously risking a toxic gas leak!_

_Owen: Is that all I am to you? Some kind of human fart machine?_

_Duncan: Uh, we just value our lives, is all. Alright, big guy?_

_Owen: Aw! I love you guys! (Owen hugs the guys) And I promise to never throw a morning fart again. (farts) Starting now. (farts again) I mean, now._

_Gwen: (in confessional) Ever since the whole awful Trent thing went down, I've just been waiting for karma to bite me in the butt, but what could I do? He was my weakness, my Achilles heel. We all have one. Luckily, Heather has a whole bunch of useful ones. Glittery objects, new hair products, shameless flattery._

(Clip 4)

_Chris: This is a single challenge. The team with the most perverting done wins the challenge._

_Duncan: WOW!! That's it?!_

_Chris: Yeah. (Courtney spots a penny and bends over to get it. Duncan spanks her butt hard that her butt jiggles)_

_Courtney: (Holding her butt) OW!_

_Duncan: Me likey!_

_Chris: Like that. Score for the Bears! (Bears: 1. Stuntmen: 0) Good luck!_

(Clip 5)

_(Duncan walks into the Stuntmen cabin where Courtney is at. Duncan spanks her again)_

_Courtney: (Giggles) Oh, you're here. (Bears: 2)_

_Duncan: So, you ready?_

_Courtney: Ready for what? (Duncan points at Courtney's breasts) Oh. Yes. (Duncan squeezes on Courtney's breasts) (Bears: 5 and Stuntmen: 2 (Duncan squeezed Courtney's breast twice hard) (Duncan and Courtney see Geoff and Bridgette making out. Bears: 6 and Stuntmen: 4)_

_Duncan: I guess my team's still winning. Let's rape all the way!_

(End of clips)

Phineas: Wow!

Squidward: Weird.

Cody: We're out of time, perhaps.

Trent: See ya!

Cody: See you next time on Total Cartoon Action!

(Sign Off)

(End)


	15. After the Walk of Shame

TCA EP15: After the Walk of Shame

Chris: In a special episode of Total Cartoon Action! You've seen Peter, Duncan, Owen, Spongebob, Candace, Chowder, Geoff, Jude, Jonsey, Nikki, Stan, Mung, Truffles, Heather, Bridgette, Harold, Courtney, Caitlin, Fry, Stewie, Brian, Gwen, Timmy, Jen, Izzy and Noah make the final 26. Where are the people not in the final 26 living? How are they spending their time? And who do they want to win the one million dollars? Find out right now on Total………… Cartoon………… Action! (Drives off on his wave jumper)

(At Playa De Losers)

Chris: Welcome to Playa De Losers! As you can see, our losers and unqualified have made themselves comfortable here at our luxury resort as community TV show has-beens!

Lindsay: I love being a unqualified! This is soooo much more my style. If I known how fab this place was and if I would've been in TCA, I would had gotten my boobs squeezed and gotten kicked off in the first episode. That's because Tyler and I can hang out! (kisses Tyler) Which one is Tyler?

Tyler: Me.

Ezekiel: This place is still cool, eh!

Gazpacho: Yeah, I so love this place! It's like a real hotel!

Joe: My experience here is better than on Total Cartoon Action.

Justin: This place is better than any island! (Jumps into the pool, splashing Squidward and DJ)

Squidward: Hey! Watch it!

Lindsay: Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, I got a letter from my sister that said there's a picture of me on "Star Stalker" magaziiine!! Eeeeee!!!

Katie and Sadie: Eeeeeee!!!

Wayne: (sarcastically) Eeeeee. Congratulations, you just peaked. It's all downhill from here, honey. (rolls eyes)

Lindsay: Maybe if I get an eating disorder or have my boobs done, I'll get on the cover!

Sadie: Yeah! (Falls into the pool) Ow! Something bit me.

Katie: Was it a shark?

Wayne: Sharks don't swim in chlorinated water, brainiac.

Sadie: Wayne is right. Besides, I think I saw the sharks getting seaweed mud baths.(shows sharks getting facials, along with Beth)

Beth: (Sighs in relief)

Bender: Hey Trent, slide me some bologna.

Trent: (thinks about it) Yeah, what the heck? (Trent throws him a huge slab of baloney)

Ezekiel: Dude, why are you helping him? He's a traitor, eh.

Trent: True, but he doesn't deserve to starve to death. And he sure can't come out here.

Eva: (while walking and lifting weights) Didn't see it. Don't care. What would I describe about my life? Easy! It sucked! My anger management issues improved a bit.

Lindsay: Are you Tyler?

(Eva hits Lindsay's face with a steak)

Cody: Well, I think Gwen should win.

Lindsay: Really? But she rejected you on TV for someone more cooler, hunkier, and more stylish.

Cody: Thanks for pointing that out, Lindsay.

DJ: I don't think anyone's giving Duncan enough credit. He woke up from a monster nap and helped us win the dodge ball challenge.

Cody: Okay, that's true. That was some sick prison strategy he pulled out of his butt.

Eva: He had all five of you wailing on one opponent at the same time. I like his style.

(DJ's Bunny falls on Lindsay's lap)

Lindsay: (to Bunny) Tyler?

Katie: What's she talking about?

Lindsay: You just would've gotten kicked off in a episode if you were in it, Katie. Nobody liked you that much.

Chris: Okay! Time for the ceremony to knock off one of the 26 cast-mates! Chris: Here's how it's gonna work! There are no marshmallows. I'm gonna ask you, one by one, who you would like to see join you here tonight at Playa de Losers. (eyeing the first of the voters) Katie and Sadie, since you share a brain, I'll ask you both. Who would you like to vote for?

Sadie: Oh, I miss Candace the most! (Ding!)

Katie: Ohhh! It would be so much fun to have her here! Definitely Candace! (Ding!)

All: Not Candace! (DING!!)

Chris: That's a lot! (Back on Total Cartoon Action, Candace is thrown into the Lame-O-Sine)

Chris: See ya next time on Total………… Cartoon………… Action! McLean out!

(End)


	16. A Chance to Take for Ice

TCA EP16: A Chance To Take for Ice

(The cast-mates are at the movie lot's plains)

Chris: The challenge today is to make the best snowman!

Harold: What theme is it?

Chris: Winter theme.

All: Ohhhh!

Owen: You forgot to tell us again?

Chris: I… _meant_ to. (Chuckles) Sorry, folks!

Peter: How do we make snowmen without snow? (Snow falls on the movie lot) I stand corrected.

(Bears)

Peter: (The snowman is leaning to the right) Dammit! (Makes it straight, but the snowman's torso falls off) Shit! (Spongebob throws snowballs at Peter) Hey!

Spongebob: Ha ha! (Peter and Spongebob have a snowball fight)

Duncan: (Breaks the snowball fight up) Dudes! I have one thing to say. Focus!

Peter: Cuss? Bi—

(Intermission)

Chris: Bears, this snowman sucks! The Superb Stuntmen win the snowman contest! (The Superb Stuntmen cheer in victory, full of glee and very, very loudly)

(Award Ceremony)

(The final Gilded Chris award goes to either Spongebob or Peter)

Chris: This is the Final Gilded Chris Award and it goes to…………Peter!

Spongebob: Huh?! (Gets kicked into the lame-o-sine) Ow! You suuuck!! (The lame-o-sine leaves for the rest of the night)

Chris: Congrats! You're all safe. For tonight. Good night from Total………… Cartoon………… Action!!!

(Owen mixes soda and chips in a blender)

Owen: Hey! You dropped your chips in my pop! Hey! You spilled your pop in my chips.

Chris: It must be the pain meds.


	17. The Poofshank Redemption

TCA EP17: The Poofshank Redemption

(The campers are in a jail-like place)

Chris: This week's challenge is a race out of this part of the movie lot avoiding the obstacles and dig your way out with shovels.

Harold: (in confessional, referring to prison challenge) Talk about overkill. This place is plenty prison like already, not that I'm complaining. I mean, I should probably be locked up for the ladies' sake anyways.

Chris: Timmy, you lead the Stuntmen. Peter, you lead the Bears. Go! (The Crouching Bears and Superb Stuntmen start running)

Heather: Lovely. At least we have the only actual ex-con on our team.

Duncan: It was only juvenile detention, don't get too excited.

Harold: Go!

Duncan: Move it! Go!

Chowder: Weeeee!!!

Gwen: (in confessional) I was imagining every horrifying barf-worthy thing I the Janitor's mop water,the time my brother puked on my neck on the tilt-a whirl,when I was babysitting, and the dog ate the kids diapers,and then licked my face! But nothing was working!

Mung: Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff!

All: Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! Avoid the stuff! (The two teams hit a wall and start digging) Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig! Dig!

Bears: Win! Win! We win! Win! Win! We win! Win! Win! We win! Win! Win! We win! Win! Win! We win! Win! Win! We win! Win! Win! We win!

Stuntmen: Lost! Lost! We lost! Lost! Lost! We lost! Lost! Lost! We lost! Lost! Lost! We lost! Lost! Lost! We lost! Lost! Lost! We lost! Lost! Lost! We lost! Lost! Lost! We lost! Lost! Lost! We lost! Lost! Lost! We lost!

Chris: Shut, shut, shut up!! The Bears win the challenge and invincibility! Stuntmen, one of you are leaving the movie lot.

Timmy: We lost! We lost! How could we lose?!

Gwen: It was you who lead us, only to lose!

(The Stuntmen start arguing)

Chris: HEEEEEY!!! Go to the award ceremony!

Duncan: Yeah!

Mung: Oh, wow!!

Chowder: Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! We won, Mung! (Soaring through the air) We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it!

Chris: (About Chowder soaring up into the air) That breaks a lot of fourth walls. Like, four thousand fourth walls!

(The Awards)

Chris: Here's your awards! (Throws awards to all except Gwen, Fry, Timmy, Stewie and Harold) Timmy!

Harold, Stewie and Fry: What?! (They get kicked into the Lame-O-Sine and leave forever)

Gwen: (in confessional) Definition of lousy: being a stickler for your word and having to vote yourself off. (looks and points upwards) Whoever's in charge of karma, I hope that counts for something.

Chris: (shown looking like he is beaten up) Wow, folks are getting fiesty! Voting your self off may win you a few 'karma points', but they do lose you a million bucks. Check... you... later. (faints)

(End)


	18. Say Hi!

TCA EP18: Say Hi

Chris: All you have to do for this challenge is say hi a hundred times.

Noah: That's it? Hi.

All: Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. (Bears Singing) Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again! Heyo! Heyo! Here we go again!

Chris: Then shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, bitches! The Superb Stuntmen win the challenge! (The Superb Stuntmen cheer for their victory and scream full of glee)

(Awards Ceremony)

(The Final Gilded Chris will go to either Mung or Truffles)

Chris: This final Gilded Chris award goes to……Mung!

Mung: Yessss!

Truffles: What?! NOOOOO!!!! (Leaves on the Lame-O-Sine)

(The end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end, end!)


	19. Ipecac A Thon

TCA EP19: Ipecac-a-thon

Chris: It's time for the Ipecac-a-thon!

Owen: The what-a-thon?

Chris: I didn't want it to come to this. I said that to Chef Hatchet last night. I said, "Chef, I don't want it to come to this." But darn it, these campers are tough! You have to drink the most bottles of ipecac in 12 hours. The winners win invincibility! Go!

Hour 1: Bears: 18, Stuntmen: 7

Hour 2: Bears: 35, Stuntmen: 32

Hour 3: Bears: 60, Stuntmen: 54

Hour 4: Bears: 76, Stuntmen: 79

Hour 5: Bears: 89, Stuntmen: 94

Hour 6: Bears: 113, Stuntmen: 124

Hour 7: Bears: 156, Stuntmen: 178

Hour 8: Bears: 189, Stuntmen: 260

Hour 9: Bears: 256, Stuntmen: 345

Hour 10: Bears: 264, Stuntmen: 348

Hour 11: Bears: 347, Stuntmen: 400

Hour 12 (Final) Bears: 600, Stuntmen: 567

Chris: The Bears win! (A million barfs happen)

(One day later)

(The final award is to go to either Jen or Noah)

Chris: This goes to Noah.

Jen: Bye. It's still sad I'm leaving (Leaves)

(End)


	20. The Bird is NOT The Word

TCA EP20: Bird is NOT The Word

Chris: This challenge is to listen to Surfin' Bird. If you get out of the mess hall, you're eliminated from the challenge. It starts no—(His phone rings) Yo! Fine. The challenge is canceled. (The cast-mates cheer) Just kidding!

Owen: Damn you! (Gives Chris the middle finger)

Chris: It starts…………………right………………about…………………now!!!

Mung: I can't take it! (He and Chowder leave) (Bears: 9)

Izzy: I love this song! Do you, Owen?

Owen: Sort of. No. (Walks out of the mess hall) (Bears: 8)

Peter: (Is singing along with the song) (Nikki, Jude and Jonsey leave) (Bears: 5) (Courtney and Caitlin leave) (Stuntmen: 4)

Stan: Bye. (Leaves. Bears: 4) (All but Izzy and Peter leave. Bears: 1 and Stuntmen: 1)

Chris: Look out! (Ignites an explosive and blows Izzy out of the mess hall)

Izzy: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chris: Peter and The Crouching Bears win! (The Superb Stuntmen cheer "Yay!")

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: Here are your awards. First one goes to Bridgette.

Brian,

Timmy,

Courtney.

Caitlin, Izzy, this is the final award. And the final gilded Chris goes to Izzy!

Caitlin: (Sadly) Well, bye, friends. (Cries as she runs to the Lame-O-Sine and leaves)

(End)


	21. The Aftermath: III

TCA EP21: The Aftermath: III

(The same intro as the last aftermaths)

Trent: Hey viewers!

Cody: It's the Codemister and the Rod on Total Cartoon Action's Aftermath!

Trent: The Rod?

Cody: You!

Trent: Oh, yeah!

Cody: You all have been following TCA.

Trent: So let's bring out Gwen, one of our guests! (Gwen walks over onto the stage)

Gwen: Hey.

Trent: How was it without me?

Gwen: Not that bad.

Cody: Do you like me?

Trent: Cody!

Cody: I know.

Trent: Who do you think to kiss other than me?

Gwen: I think… Duncan.

Cody: (Vastly) Merp.

Trent: How 'bout you tell the viewers a bit about yourself?

Gwen: Okay. I—(Cody kisses Gwen on the lips, oohing the audience)

Trent: What the fuck?!

Cody: (They stop. Gwen barfs) I slipped.

Trent: Let's get out another guest, Harold! (Harold comes in)

Harold: Yo.

Trent: How was Total Cartoon Action before you were booted off?

Harold: A little fun. Usually pain. Physical pain. (Cut to a montage of Harold getting hurt throughout TCI and TCA)

Trent: OOH! Sucks to be you, dude. (Looks at his watch) And we have a few seconds. See ya next time on the next aftermath on Total… Cartoon… Action! The Rod and the cheating Codemister signing off on TCA Aftermath! Bye!

(End)


	22. That's Off Your Neck!

TCA EP22: That's Off Your Neck!

Chris: Today's challenge on Total Cartoon Action is to play through a simu-torture chamber. Simu means simulation. If your simu-character dies, you're out of the challenge. Go! (The cast-mates start playing Simu-Torture Chamber)

Mung: (Stammering as he plays. Simu-Mung gets decapitated)

Chris: Mung is out! (Simu-Chowder blows up) Chowder is out! (Simu-Geoff falls into a pit) Geoff is out!

Owen: I'm winning!

Peter: Yes! (His simu-character dies in the explosion along with Simu-Owen) No! Why! Damn you, Simu-Torture Chamber!

Chris: Owen and Peter are out!

(Later. Simu-Duncan and Simu-Timmy remain in the game)

Duncan: I'm going to win! (Simu-Duncan punches Simu-Timmy) Simu-Sucker punch! Boo-yah!

Timmy: Uh-oh! Whoa! (Gasps) Look out, Simu-Timmy!

Owen: Go Duncan!

Geoff: Win! Win, Duncan!

Duncan: Yeah! I'm almost going to win! I'll mess you up! (Simu-Duncan blows up a lot) No!

Chris: And Timmy Turner and the Superb Stuntmen win this challenge! Yeah! They do really win! Yes!

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: These Gilded Chris awards go to Stan, Owen, Peter, Geoff, Nikki, Jonsey, Mung, Heather. This last gilded Chris goes to……Duncan.

Chowder: Bye! Sorry it had to end like this.

Jude: Bye, dudes! I might miss you… or not. Yeah, probably not yet. (The two walk the Walk of Shame and enter the Lame-O-Sine and leave the movie lot)

Chris: And there you have it. See ya next time on Total…… Cartoon…… Action! McLean out!

(End)


	23. Tree Jumping

TCA EP23: Tree Jumping

Chris: Today's challenge is to jump off the tallest tree on the movie lot. The last person to jump wins the challenge for his/her team. Stuntmen, you're first up.

Courtney: Can I do this first one?

Chris: Fine by me.

Jumps:

Courtney: A branch broke under Courtney and she got hurt

Izzy: Did a flawless jump onto the drop zone

Bridgette: Similar to Courtney's jump, but no branches broke.

Timmy: Like Izzy, but with a parachute(Cosmo).

Brian: Like Timmy.

Chris: Bears, you're next up.

Geoff: So, who's going first?

Peter: I will!

Jumps:

Peter: Breaks many branches and gets his chin stuck on a branch.

Stan: Flawlessly.

Duncan: Like Stan, Izzy, Timmy and Brian: Flawlessly.

Jonsey: Similar to Courtney and Bridgette: He gets hurt.

Owen: Like Peter, without the stuck chin.

Nikki: Breaks her groin on a big branch.

Heather: A branch went through her butt.

Geoff: Flawlessly.

Mung: Flawlessly, but loses his kilt.

Chris: And the Superb Stuntmen win the challenge and invincibility!

(Award Ceremony)

(The final Gilded Chris will go to either Mung, Stan, Duncan or Geoff)

Chris: And the Gilded Chris goes to……………………………Duncan.

Mung: Then farewell, goodbye!

Geoff: Peace out! We have spoken!

Stan: (In confessional) I really wanted to win the million dollars, but I wanted to get karma points by voting me and Geoff off.

(The three leave)

Chris: Wow, folks are getting fiesty! Voting your self off may win you a few 'karma points', but they do lose you a million bucks. See ya next time on Total…… Cartoon…… Action!!

(End of Total Cartoon Action EP23)


	24. Just Eliminating 2

TCA EP24: Just Eliminating 2

Chris: The next challenge is to knock the next cast-mate off Total Cartoon Action!

Owen: No way!

Chris: Oh, yes, most definitely, way! Both teams will be present in the award ceremony.

Peter: Why do we just have to vote off a camper?

Chris: The maker doesn't have a idea for me to give you as a challenge. Vote in the confessionals and I'll tally the votes.

(Confessionals)

Owen: I want to vote off Duncan because he's really creasing me right now! Don't tell him I'm voting him off, though.

Peter: I want to vote off Brian.

Izzy: I don't know who to vote off but I'll possibly vote off Bridgette.

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: These awards go to

Duncan,

Owen,

Peter,

Nikki,

Jonsey,

Heather,

Courtney,

Brian,

Timmy.

Chris: The final award goes to either Izzy or Bridgette. This goes to Izzy. Bridgette, the Walk of Shame awaits.

Bridgette: Okay. (Walks the Walk of Shame and leaves in the Lame-O-Sine)

(End)


	25. Hotdogging

TCA EP25: Hotdogging

Chris: This next challenge is a hot dog eating contest.

Owen: WOW! Mama drives a hard bargain!

Chris: The person who loses the challenge must walk down the Walk of Shame, catch the Lame-O-Sine and leave the movie lot. No ceremony, do not pass go, do not collect a Gilded Chris award.

(In confessional)

Duncan: Whoa! A sudden death elimination challenge?! Chris is _crazy_, man! I think I might lose and leave the movie lot in the Lame-O-Sine in this challenge.

(The challenge)

Chris: The lucky people are Owen and Brian. (Owen and Brian, the participators in this challenge, get ready to eat the hot dogs and win) Get ready…… get set…… EAT! (The two start eating a lot of hot dogs in a rush)

Owen: Yummy!! (Continues eating the hot dogs)

Brian: (Groaning) (Continues to eat the hot dogs) Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, (Barfs) Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom,

Owen: Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom,

Both: Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom, Nom,

(Much, much, much later)

(Owen finishes eating the hot dogs on his plate. Owen's hot dogs then are gone before Brian's hot dogs are gone)

Owen: Done!

Chris: Owen and the Crouching Bears win the hot dog eating contest! Brian, it's time.

Brian: I know. (Walks down the Walk of Shame and leaves on the Lame-O-Sine) Bye!

Chris: What will happen tomorrow on the day of the merge? Find out next time on Total………………………… Cartoon………………………… Action! McLean out!

(End)


	26. The Big Merge

TCA EP26: The Big Merge

Chris: (On the intercom) Alright, cast-mates, now the teams are now dissolved. It's every cast-mate for themselves! Plus, a camper will come back.

Nikki: Wait a sec, you said no one was allowed back!

Chris: I did?

Nikki: "And once you leave--" (Flashback of Chris from past episode plays)

_Chris: And once you leave on the Walk of Shame, on the Lame-O-Sine, you can never, never ever, EVER come back!_

(Nikki and Izzy look at the loudspeaker angrily awaiting Chris' reply)

Chris: Oh yeah...that...yeah, I lied. This man was an audience favorite.

Heather: He was an audience favorite?

Chris: Not really, but we liked him. Returning to the lot is… Trent! (The Lame-O-Sine drops off Trent at the movie lot entrance)

Trent: (To the other cast-mates) Hey, guys! Psyched to be back!

Chris: Alright, that's enough time. Let's get ready for today's challenge!

(The challenge)

Chris: The next challenge is a memory game. Place the loser heads in order of elimination. The first person to put the heads of the losers in the order of elimination wins the challenge and invincibility. Go!

(Owen)

Owen: Let's see, Cody was first, right? Yeah! Trent was next. Then Quagmire.

(Trent)

Trent: I was second, then Quagmire was eliminated next, then Joe, I think. Then Cleveland and Patrick were eliminated at the same time.

(Timmy)

Timmy: Then Chris Griffin was eliminated next. Then Phineas.

(Nikki)

Nikki: DJ next.

(Jonsey)

Jonsey: Ferb then.

(Peter)

Peter: Squidward. Then…

(Duncan)

Duncan: …the man called Turbo Thunder.

(Owen)

Owen: Homer then Bender.

(Izzy)

Izzy: Then Spongebob was eliminated next.

(Courtney)

Courtney: Then Gwen, Fry, Stewie and Harold. Wait, Stewie, Harold, Fry and Gwen!

(Heather)

Heather: Then Truffles.

(Nikki)

Nikki: Then Jen.

(Trent)

Trent: Then Caitlin. Chowder and Jude next.

(Peter)

Peter: Mung, Geoff and Stan all left at the same time then. And finally… Bridgette.

Chris: Peter wins the challenge and invincibility!

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: These awards go to…

Duncan

Courtney

Peter

Jonsey

Izzy

Nikki

Heather

Timmy and…

Trent.

Owen: Okay then. See you guys at the finale! (Walks down the Walk of Shame and goes into the Lame-O-Sine and leaves forever)

(End)


	27. Just Eliminating 3

TCA EP27: Just Eliminating 3

Chris: Now we have a 3rd elimination-only challenge!

Owen: Damn you, old man!

Trent: A elimination-only challenge?

Chris: Where we just eliminate a cast-mate instead of a regular challenge. Alright, then, let's get this bloodbath started!

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: These 8 Gilded Chris Awards go to……

Trent

Duncan

Courtney

Izzy

Heather

Nikki

Jonsey.

Timmy, Peter, this is the final Gilded Chris Award. And the last, not least, final and only Gilded Chris Award goes to………Peter. Timmy, the Lame-O-Sine awaits for you, dude. (Timmy walks right and straight down the Walk of Shame and goes into the Lame-O-Sine. The Lame-O-Sine leaves with Timmy inside it)

(End)


	28. TDI Craze

TCA EP28: TDI Craze

Chris: Today's challenge is to watch 24 hours of TDI and TDA.

All: Oh, no!

Chris: Oh, yes! If you leave, you're eliminated from the challenge.

(Hour 1)

Peter: Cool. (Eats some popcorn)

Duncan: I hate TDI! (Leaves)

(Hour 2)

Jonsey: This is getting booooooring! (Yawns and leaves)

Peter: Awesome!

Courtney: Ugh! I hate this challenge!

Nikki: This isn't bad, isn't it? (Silence) Never mind.

(Hour 3)

(Courtney leaves)

(Hour 12)

(Peter and Izzy are left)

Peter: Ha-ha! TDDDA is sooo cool!

Chris: Look out! Again! (Ignites an explosive and blows Izzy out of the mess hall)

Izzy: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOT AGAAAAIN!!!!!!!!

Peter: YAY!

Chris: Peter Griffin wins this challenge and he wins invincibility! (Peter Griffin cheers)

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: And the loser is………………………Izzy! Time to go!

Izzy: (casually) Ah, we've all gotta go sometime, right? Goodnight, everybody! Thanks for comin' out! (throws a smoke pellet to the ground and vanishes; everyone else looks shocked)

Chris: Okay, so it wasn't the most shocking award ceremony ever, but I still get paid. Heh heh, bonus! See ya next time on Total…… Cartoon…… Action!


	29. Playa De Losers Visital

TCA EP29: Playa De Losers Visital

Chris: Today's challenge is just to visit Playa De Losers! No elimination today. Okay, let's visit the place!

Peter: Whoo!!

Duncan: I'm coming! (Trips) Whoa! (Gets back up) Look out, dudes!

(At Playa De Losers)

Chris: Welcome to Playa De Losers!

Duncan: WOW! It looks cool! (The 7 cast-mates set foot on Playa De Losers)

Nikki: This place looks great!

Chris: As you can see, our losers and the unqualified are enjoying our great resort, Playa De Losers. All the losers and the unqualified are also telling more about themselves! (Duncan bumps into Schnitzel, one of the unqualified people)

Schnitzel: Radda. (Sorry.)

Duncan: What did he call me?

(Owen and Homer are in the pool)

Owen: Can you believe that this place is right next to the crappy movie lot and the cool summer camp?

Homer: No doubt! (The two do a fist pound)

(Geoff is making out with Bridgette)

Chris: Looks like Geoff & Bridgette are happy to be reunited. (they stop for a moment)

Geoff: Dude, this resort is off the charts! (They continue)

Lindsay: Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, I got a letter from my sister that said there's a picture of me on "Star Stalker" magaziiine!! Eeeeee!!!

Katie and Sadie: Eeeeeee!!!

Noah: (sarcastically) Eeeeee. Congratulations, you just peaked. It's all downhill from here, honey. (rolls eyes)

Lindsay: Maybe if I get an eating disorder or have my boobs done, I'll get on the cover!

(They hear Izzy cough)

Izzy: Look, somebody's bikini bottom!

Katie: I think that's yours, Izzy.

Izzy: (pause, looks under the water) Oh, crap, it is! (Goes under and shows her naked butt when she goes under the water. Duncan spanks Izzy's naked butt)

Noah: EWW!! Izzy!

Chris: And there you have some of the time.

Peter: I want to stay!

Chris: Okay, but you'll lose a chance at a million big ones!

Peter: I already have one hundred thousand dollars in my pocket, Chris McLean!

Chris: Fine! You're out of the competition! See ya next time when we return on Total…… Cartoon…… Action!!!


	30. Dare On The Set II

TCA EP30: Dare On The Set II

Chris: There's another Dare On The Set for the next challenge! Duncan, you're up!

Duncan: Heather, I dare you to drink fruit juice in a toilet!

Heather: (Plugs her nose) I'm going in! (Goes into the bathroom with Duncan and drinks the fruit punch in the toilet, then barfs)

(Then…)

Duncan: (To Heather) I'm just thinking that everybody would hire a fumigation squad just to—(Heather burps in his face)

Dares:

Duncan's dare: Kiss raw fish. (Win)

Nikki's dare: Jump off the big cliff into the special effects pool. (Win)

Heather's second dare: Arm wrestle with Chef. (Lost)

Courtney's dare: Drink a puree of Chef's mystery meat. (Win)

Jonsey's dare: Drink ipecac. (Lost)

Courtney's second dare: Chew Harold's rechewed gum. (Lost)

Nikki's second dare: Avoid turtle-puckshots. (Lost)

Jonsey's second dare: Give a purple nurple to a bear. (Win)

Nikki's third dare: Act like Duncan. (Lost)

Trent's dare: Eat a lot a raw eggs laying down. (Lost)

Duncan's second dare: Eat cockroaches. (Win)

Heather's third dare: Get kissed by a sock puppet. (Win)

Duncan's third dare: Act like a chicken. (Win)

Nikki's fourth dare: Drink liquified prunes. (Lost)

Chris: I guess Nikki wins this challenge. Trent, you're eliminated from the competition!

Trent: Okay, then. Bye! (Walks down the Walk of Shame, goes into the Lame-O-Sine and leaves the movie lot)

(End)

Why Trent was voted off TCA again in this episode: He only did one dare.


	31. Youtubish II

TCA EP31: Youtubish 2

Chris: Today, Cody, Ezekiel, Fry and Beth will come to Total Cartoon Action! (The 4 are dropped off at the movie lot)

Beth: Hey!

Ezekiel: Hello, eh?

Chris: This week's challenge is to make a Youtube video. The person with the most views wins invincibility!

Views per maker:

Cody: 2434 views

Beth: 1705 views

Ezekiel: 783 views

Duncan: 4567 views

Courtney: 4578 views

Fry: 1423 views

Nikki: 3453 views

Jonsey: 644,642 views

Heather: 4644 views

Chris: Jonsey wins!

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: These awards go to

Jonsey

Nikki

Fry

Heather

Cody

Courtney

Duncan.

Beth and Ezekiel, this is the final Gilded Chris Award. And the Gilded Chris goes to… Beth. (Ezekiel walks the Walk of Shame and leaves on the Lame-O-Sine)

(End)


	32. Sculpture Idol

TCA EP32: Sculpture Idol

Chris: This week's challenge is a sculpture making contest.

Duncan: Easy!

Beth: WOW!

Cody: Okay.

Fry: Great! I have no idea what that means!

Chris: The best sculpture wins invincibility! Poor ones get in the bottom four! Go!

Sculptures:

Beth: Crescent Rose (Great)

Duncan: Juvie Escape (Poor)

Nikki: Unknown (Poor)

Jonsey: Unknown Duck (Good)

Cody: Dancing Robot (Awesome!)

Fry: The Frenchie Fries (Good)

Courtney: Mottoes (Great)

Heather: Picasso (Great)

Chris: I've voted and I think we have our winner! Cody!

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: This final award will go to either Duncan, Fry, Beth or Nikki. This goes to……Duncan!

Nikki: Okay then. Bye. (Sheds a tear as she, Fry and Beth walk down the Walk of Shame, board the Lame-O-Sine and leave the movie lot and the 5 cast-mates)

(End)


	33. Just Eliminating 4

TCA EP33: Just Eliminating 4

Chris: This next challenge is a just-elimination challenge.

(Award Ceremony)

Chris: These Gilded Chris Awards are for 4 out of 5 of the cast-mates. The first Gilded Chris Award goes to…

Duncan

Jonsey

Courtney

Cody.

Heather, the Lame-O-Sine awaits. (Heather walks down the Walk of Shame and boards the Lame-O-Sine, which leaves)

(End)

**Me: I know, it's a lot short. Here's a bonus thing for you. I'm making a Phineas and Ferb fanfic oneshot where Phineas becomes the president of the united states. I hope this filled a bit of your time.**

**P.S.: I should make a Toonville in the Making chapter that has Motaro from MK3/Ultimate MK3/MK Trilogy/MK Armageddon and a ninja fighting each other.**

**P.S.S.: I like applesauce.**

**P.S.S.S.: Remember to READ TCA, TCI, Toonville in the Making and Toonville!**

**P.S.S.S.S.: BUY Gmod 10, upgrade it to Gmod 11 Beta and make more updates on your fanfiction fanfics.**


	34. Tasers

TCA EP34: Tazers

Chris: Today's challenge is to have the longest taze to win invincibility.

Longest times:

Courtney: 24.346 seconds

Duncan: 2 minutes

Cody: 45.3 seconds

Jonsey: 45.78 seconds

Chris: Duncan wins! Courtney is out!

Courtney: Okay then. (Cries and boards the Lame-O-Sine, which leaves)

(End)

Chris: This is Chris McLean signing off on today's episode of Total Cartoon Action!

**Sorry it's shorter than episode 33, I'm rushing through TCA so I can get to Total Cartoon Extreme! This is LordryuTJ on ! Unleash your inner imagination here!**


	35. Fanficatal

TCA EP35: Fanficatal

Chris: Today's challenge is to make your own fanfic on .

Cody: Ok!

Jonsey: Ok!

Duncan: Ok!

Chris: Okay! Let's get this bloodbath started!

(Later on)

Chris: Okay, let's see all 3 fanfics from the final 3 cast-mates.

Duncan's Fanfic:

_Okay, I really miss my girlfriend. A C.I.T. who has a heart. Her name… I can't believe to say this… Courtney. I love her… so, so much! But this is my last sentence: I miss her. (Hangs himself)_

_R.I.P. Duncan Smith (In this fanfic)_

Chris: (Amazed) That…… was…… AWWWWWWEEESOME!!! Duncan wins—Wait, I forgot Cody and Jonsey's fanfics.

Jonsey's fanfic:

_Let me tell a bit about me, Jonsey Garcia._

_Likes: Video Games. Working at a lot of places. Girls._

_Dislikes: Wasabi (That spicy sauce)._

_Favorite games: Guitar Hero III, Halo Wars, Mortal Kombat Armageddon, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, The Orange Box, GMOD 10 for PC (I have it!)._

_That's all I can tell. I'm in a rush._

Cody's Fanfic:

_Yo. This is about me. Cody Thomas._

_Desires: Video Games, Ladies._

_Hates: Eva from TDI, Wasabi._

_Favorite games: Guitar Hero III, Halo 3, GMOD 10, The Orange Box, Dance Dance Revolution series, Super Smash Bros. series, Jump! Ultimate Stars (English patch)._

_Favorite TV shows: TDI, TDA, Phineas and Ferb, Suite Life on Deck._

Chris: Wow!

Jonsey: Hey! Cody stole my idea!

Chris: True, but Duncan wins the challenge and invincibility! Cody is out of Total Cartoon Action!

Cody: That's right—Habba wha?! (Gets kicked into the Lame-O-Sine) Agh! Hey! (The Lame-O-Sine leaves)

Chris: And then there were two. Tune in to see who will win the check for one million dollars on Total………… Cartoon………… Action!! McLean out!

(End)


	36. The Very Final Finale, Really!

TCA EP36: The Very Final Finale, Really!

Chris: Welcome to the people who didn't make it to the finals! (All 40 losers and the unqualified appear and walk to the peanut gallery of failure)

(In Confessional)

Jonsey: I had a awesome time! My friends made me feel like… WOW!

Duncan: This series has made me get to the finale. TWICE! Man, this show is getting awesomer by the minute!

(Back to the show)

Chris: This will be the final challenge in Total Cartoon Action! All finale challenges are races around the location! Jonsey, what will you do with the money?

Jonsey: I would throw a big party and invite everybody here! (Everybody on Jonsey's side cheer)

Nikki: Awesome, Jonsey!

Jude: Great, dude!

Chris: Duncan, what would you do with the money?

Duncan: The same as Jonsey said.

Chris: Okay… Now, get ready… get set… Go! (The finalists start running)

Jonsey: (Punches Duncan, who trips Jonsey) Ugh! (Izzy runs up to him)

Izzy: Go, Jonsey! RUN!

Jonsey: AAH! (In confessional) Ok, these chicks are all starting to scare me. Maybe I won't invite them to the party... psych!! (laughs)

(Back to the chase)

Duncan: (Getting up to Jonsey) MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!

Jonsey: (running) I can still win this... great Zeus, it hurts!! (Gasps and sees the finish line) The finish line!

Duncan: Huh?!

Jonsey: MMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!! (Rams over Duncan and crosses the finish line) Yeah!

Chris: Jonsey wins! Yeah!

(Winner Ceremony)

Chris: Here we are! At the last ceremony ever! After a lot of weeks, it is my pleasure to announce the winner of Total Cartoon Action: Jonsey! You win the million dollars!

Jonsey: Yeah!

Chris: See ya in the special of Total…………… Cartoon…………… Action!!!


	37. Total Cartoon Cartoon Cartoon Action!

Total Cartoon Cartoon Cartoon Action!

New People here:

Phineas and Ferb: Baljeet, Buford, Isabella.

Flapjack: Dock Hag.

Chowder: Kapusta.

Family Guy: James Woods, Mort Goldman, Julian.

Madagascar: Skipper, Private, Rico, Kowalski, King Julien, Maurice.

(The campers are having a party)

(Geoff and Bridgette are making out)

(Peter is drinking beer with Homer and Owen)

(Stewie is dancing with Brian, Izzy, Stan, Jude and Jonsey)

(Timmy is dancing with Cosmo, Wanda and Poof)

Poof: Poof, poof. (Turns Cosmo's head into a pizza with Cosmo's face on it)

(Chris McLean walks in with a heavy case)

Chris: Morning, ex-cast! You see this case? (Shows the case) This case has ONE BILLION DOLLARS!! Jonsey, do you keep the money you have or make a new season with contestants competing for ONE BILLION DOLLARS?!?!?!?!?!?!

Jonsey: I'll start the 3rd season!

Chris: Alright, then, pick the contestants!

Jonsey: Okay… 30 contestants.

Me (Jonsey)

Jude

Nikki

Wyatt

Jen

Caitlin

Peter

Owen

Gwen (TDI)

Heather

Duncan

Leshawna

Geoff

Lindsay

Izzy

Trent

Cody

Homer

Harold

Ed

Eddy

Phineas

DJ

Wayne

Fry

Courtney

Bloo

Mark Chang

Justin

Timmy.

Chris: These 30 report in a parking lot in 2 days and don't forget to tune in on Total… Cartoon… Extreme!


End file.
